horrible translation of a chinese poem

Hey everybody!

Yesterday, in school, we were given a poem in Chinese. Here it is:

《短歌行》	Short Song Style
對酒當歌，人生幾何？	I lift my drink and sing a song, for who knows if one's life is short or long
譬如朝露，去日苦多。	Man's life is like the morning dew, past days many future days few
慨當以慷，憂思難忘。	The melancholy my heart begets, comes from cares I cannot forget
何以解憂？唯有杜康。	Who can unravel these sorrows of mine, I know of only one man, the God of Wine
青青子衿，悠悠我心。	Disciples dressed in blue, my heart worries for you
但為君故，沈吟至今。	You are the cause of this song without pause
呦呦鹿鳴，食野之蘋。	"Across the banks a deer bleats, in the wilds where it eats
我有嘉賓，鼓瑟吹笙。	Honoured guests I salute, strike the drums, and play the flute
明明如月，何時可掇？	Bright is the moon's sparkle; Will there be a time it can be grasped?
憂從中來，不可斷絕。	Thoughts of you from deep inside, never settling never ceasing
越陌度阡，枉用相存。	Friends drop by via a country road, the respect they pay really show.
契闊談宴，心念舊恩。	A long due reunion we fest, sharing past stories we possessed
月明星稀，烏鵲南飛，	The moon outshines the sparse stars; the crows fly to the south
繞樹三匝，何枝可依？	Circling the tree three times; on what branch can they find rest?
山不厭高，海不厭深。	Mountains do not despise height; Seas do not despise depth
周公吐哺，天下歸心。	The sage pauses when guests call, so at his feet the empire does fall!

Wow. Deep, huh?

It was written by Cao Cao, a famous person from Chaiyynah!

Well, we couldn't really enjoy its deepness depth because the poem was given to us like this:

Okay. At first we didn't even know which direction we were supposed to read it in. But that wasn't the point, actually. The point was, we were supposed to copy that out on another piece of paper with a grid. It's a handwriting test.

But… me being me… I translated it.

Lamely.

Because, not only did I not know the paragraphing, I did not even know what some words meant so I translated them literally with the help of the e-Dictionary and Google Translate (for line 11, word 2).

Here it is:

Facing wine during singing, human life how many what? For example, faces show that going to the sun is bitter. More generous, during to generous! Worried thinking is hard to forget. How to understand? Worry! Only has a stop to health. Green, green son! The shirt is sad, saddening my heart. However, for a man, the story is sinking, saying till today: "Yo! Yo! The deer chirps; the food is the wildest of apples." I have the best visitors, drums, harps and blowing pipes, obviously like the moon. At what time can keep worries? From the middle, come? No can! Break finish more strange-degreed road bends. Use each other's existence. Receipts are long, talk at the reception. Hearts read old blessings. The moon celebrity is distant. A black magpie is hard to fly around trees three times. What branches? What relies on mountains? Don't despise tall seas. Don't despise deep weeks. Grandfather vomits and feeds under the sky. Go to heart, facing wine.

Thank you.

P.S.:
The lame translator renders:

对酒当歌人生几何譬如
朝露去日苦多慨当以慷
忧思难忘何以解忧唯有
杜康青青子衿悠悠我心
但为君故沈吟至今呦呦
鹿鸣食野之苹我有嘉宾
鼓瑟吹笙明明如月何时
可掇忧从中来不可断绝
越陌度阡枉用相存契阔
谈宴心念旧恩月明星稀
乌鹊难飞绕树三匝何枝
何依山不厌高海不厌深
周公吐哺天下归心对酒

As:

Correct  liqueur  when  song  people  health  a few  what 譬 such as
朝露 go with  day  bitter  many 慨 when  take 慷
忧 think  difficult  forget  what  take  solution 忧唯 have
杜 kang  green green  child 衿悠悠 i  heart
 but  for 君 therefore 沈 吟  to  this 呦呦
鹿鸣 food  wild  it  apple  i  have 嘉 guest
鼓瑟 blow 笙 bright bright  such as  month  what  time
 can 掇忧 from  in  come  do not  can  broken  absolutely
越 street  degree 阡枉 use  phase  save 契阔
 talk 宴 heart  read  old 恩 month  bright  star  dilute
乌鹊 difficult  fly  winding around  tree  three 匝 what  branch
 what 依 mountain  do not  disgusted  high  sea  do not  disgusted  deep
 week  public 吐哺 day  under 归 heart  correct  liqueur

As you can see, not all words are translated as not all words are in the wordlist. However, a separate program using the same idea renders:

Correct liqueur when song people Health a few what analogy Such as Morning dew go with day bitter many generous when Take generous worry think difficult forget what Take solution worry only Have Du Kang green green child collar Yu Yu I heart but for You Therefore Precipitation 吟 to now 呦 呦 deer Ming food wild It apple I Have Jia Guest drum Sher blow 笙 Bright Bright Such as month what Time can 掇 worry From in Come Do not can Broken Absolutely More street degree footpath in vain use phase Save Deed wide talk feast heart Read old Yep month Bright star dilute Wu magpie difficult fly Winding around tree three 匝 what branch what according to mountain Do not Disgusted high sea Do not Disgusted deep week public threw up feed day under Return heart Correct liqueur